Little Ms Crotchetty

I've been feeling like crap lately....... I'm as grumpy as all hell.... I don't know if I'm suffering from a sever case of PMS or it's the lack of sex that's making me feel like ripping people's heads off.

Work is really sucking the life out of me too. Not that I've been putting in 40-50 hour weeks, but having to be nice alllll the fucking time is just soooooo draining. I hate working in retail.... why the fuck did I listen to the careers councilor who suggested that I was excel in that line of work because I was a "people person"??? People person my arse. Give me 5 minutes alone with that councilor and I'll show her how much of a people person I am.....

Oh, and just more proof as to how much of a slack bitch I am, I didn't call my friend J for her birthday..... so.....
............Happy Birthday J.......
Hope you had a smashing day.

I got one of those stat thingamajigs the other day. You know the ones that tell you how people found your page etc...... cause I'm a nosey fucker....

Someone stumbled across my blog by searching Yahoo for "cervix close ups".

There I am, snuggled right in between "hardcore pussy close up resource is all you need...." and "girls fucking jpeg pics galleries Pictures and girls fucking ...."

I thought it was starting to feel a little warm in here.....

The all clear

We got the biopsy results back........ There's no infections, no nasties..... the ute is all clear........ except for that pesky bicornuate thing.
The more I read up about it, the more scared I get about trying again.
We're looking at starting to try again in October/November, which should give me plenty of time to get my head straight..... hopefully.

I'm a page 5 girl!!

So I didn't quite make it to page 3, but 5 is pretty damn close. And I'm not wearing a bikini (thank GOD I hear you screaming)....
Ok, ok...... it's a crowd shot from the footy at the weekend....and there I am, plain as day, sitting there.....in the pissing down rain.... looking like shit warmed up AND wearing a body condom. I look like a marshmallow with a face..... it's not pretty..... not pretty at all.
Am I going to post the pic? Fuck no..... you couldn't pay me enough.....though if someone was willing to throw $20-$30 my way I'd consider it..... what can I say.... I'm easy.... lol

And now for the "OMG, you'd think she'd get over it already" post.....
Yesterday when I rocked up for work, I was confronted by a big arsed invitation taped to the service desk inviting everyone to "Rachael & Braydon's baby shower" (I'm not going to change their names cause quite frankly I don't give a shit....and Braydon is the baby....not the boyfriend). I guess I'm just being petty but it hurts like hell having to look at her enormous belly every day knowing that I should be having my little boy in August too. Not that I'd ever look like her though, the girl is 5'11 and is as skinny as a rake, she honestly looks like she has a beach ball shoved up the front of her jumper...... I'd probably just look like a fat chick who's gone back for way too many second helpings or * looking guilty* that has just demolished half a block of chocolate for breakfast....oh the shame.

In small little letters down the bottom it had "in lieu of a gift, please give a donation to help them purchase some of the bigger items baby needs"
WTF??? It may be because I'm bitter (and extremely jealous) but if she thinks that I'm going to give her money so her boyfriend can shove it in a cone and smoke it, she had got to be kidding. He can peel his arse off the couch and stop claiming the dole, and get himself a fucking job to pay for his own "bigger items". Phhhtttt to them I say.

Am I completely losing the plot or is this just some weird part of the grieving process that no one has told me about, but lately I receive great satisfaction from making people feel uncomfortable by mentioning my miscarriages. So yesterday, when confronted with the "invitation", I asked politely if I could have an "I almost had a baby" shower......out of the 4 people who were there, one looked away, one busied themselves with something of "great importance" and one walked away.... the other, Pauline, reached over the counter, took my hand and said with tears in her eyes....."your time will come my dear.... your time will come" which left me a blubbering mess.... I'm so thankful for her friendship, kindness and compassion through the last year and a bit (she has been truly wonderful).....but damn it, I hate crying at work......

Finally.....I'm back

Firstly, thank you to everyone who posted comments and sent emails my way while I was "away".... you have no idea how wonderful your support was during my down time.

*sigh* so where do I begin? It feels like a lifetime since I've actually posted anything and so much has happened.

The New House

It's amazing. We love it. The kitchen is enormous, there's more than enough room to swing a cat (if we had one), there's even enough room for The Chad to have his own games room that we lovingly refer to as "the lodge".

Having H living downstairs hasn't been too bad so far. She's been keeping to herself and keeping Caleb confined to downstairs most of the time. He has been playing up a bit, but I think that is mainly because he is bored. H never takes him anywhere (except to the shops to buy smokes). I know it's not my responsibility to entertain him, but I've been making a bit of an effort to take him places, to the park, to watch the footy, to play with my friend J's kids. I just don't want the poor kid to go without just because H couldn't be bothered.....and because I'm THE best Aunty ever.....lol

The Old House

We're soooo glad to be out of there. The real estate were total jerks when we left. They said that the place wasn't clean enough, even though we spent a full weekend cleaning the dump. When we originally moved in, the place had been empty for 3 months, the yard was a disgrace and the interior wasn't much chop either. We ended up having to go back and clean up a few petty things (one light switch wasn't clean, there was a mark on the kitchen cupboard etc) so hopefully we'll get all our bond back. I'm just glad we're out of there. The place just held so many bad memories for us.....


The Trip to the Hospital

It went pretty well as far as D & C's go, I guess. The doctor who performed the op wasn't Dr Cook, like I'd hoped, but she was very nice all the same. For the life of me I can't remember her name, something starting with a "K" I think. She came and saw me before I was discharged and informed me that I have a slight bicornuate uterus which I now lovingly refer to as "My Hear Shaped Box". Apparently it shouldn't cause too many problems because it isn't a severe case, but like Dr Cook said, it would be best to keep a close eye on me next time. She also told me that my I won't have to pay for my weekly ultrasounds which I am VERY happy about. We were getting a little stressed about the thought of being on one wage (if it came to that) and having to fork out $140 a week for scans.

My follow up appointment is in September! (that's the public system for you) but can call tomorrow for the results for the biopsy which I'm hoping are all clear.

What I did find weird thought was that, although I had my D & C on the Thursday and had minimal bleeding afterwards, my periods started on the Sunday as though I didn't have the op at all. Here's hoping that my cycle doesn't spack out and will return to normal.

And as for the "should I shave or just trim" question I posted earlier, I had to shave myself completely! Is that part of the public system? Do they shave it for you if you go private??? Why they needed the top bit bald is beyond me seeing as all the *cough* work was being done on the lower part. It also reminded me why I don't shave the top part anymore...... talk about ITCHY! I thought I was going to do myself an injury with the amount of scratching I did.

The itching was bad, but nothing compares to the pain and suffering I'm going through now though. The Dr recommended no sex for 6 weeks, 4 weeks minimum, but preferably 6 weeks. 6 WEEKS..... 6 FUCKING WEEKS!!!!!! Even after we lost the boys and had D & C's, we were told to wait 2 weeks......so what's with this 6 weeks business???? I'm sure they're just doing it to fuck with our heads. We can do other things......if you know what I mean......just no penetration. Don't get me wrong.... I'm not one to object to a good *cough* tongue lashing (sorry.... probably WAY too much information there) and The Chad is exceptional at it ( I love you honey *grin * ) but nothing compares to ..... well I'm sure you get my drift. 2 weeks 5 days down, 3 weeks 2 days to go...... That's if I don't kill myself first.....*sigh*

M.I.A

Been VERY busy moving house so haven't had time to blog. Bad me. Our new home is just awesome. We love it.
Cleaning up the old place isn't as much fun, but after today it should be the last of it.
No internet connection yet either.... or phone either for that matter. Damn Optus...ggrrr to them.

Better get going, we've got walls to scrub....oh the joy