Do You Want a Piece of Cake?
Is what my sister asked me as I walked down the stairs to do my washing this morning (we need to walk down the internal stairs and through her “house” to get to the laundry).
Never one to turn down cake, especially one of the chocolate variety, I of course said yes, though wondered why on earth she’d be offering me cake at this time of the morning. It was 9:45, and unlike me, I’d just crawled out of bed.
I thought that it must be a fan-fucking-tastic chocolate cake if she was so willing to share.
H: Do you want some chocolate topping with that?
(hmmm.... why on earth would I want chocolate topping on chocolate cake??)
Me: uummm, no thanks
She hands me the cake, it looks as dry as the Sahara, maybe I should have taken the topping.... or a glass of milk..... or a shot of bourbon.
H: uummm.... I have something to tell you
M: with cake in my mouth, raise an eyebrow and wonder what it is, for a split second I thought she was going to tell me she’s pregnant, but that’s just crazy now isn’t it??
H: M (our cousin) had her baby this morning
M: Oh, that’s nice
H: it’s a boy, 7lb something
M: Oh.....
H: Are you ok?
M: feeling not the slightest bit of anything, not happiness, not anger, not jealousy, zero..... Yeah... I’m ok.
Yesterday I pee’d on a stick, the last one from my swag of 20 that I purchased from ebay 3 cycles ago. Yep.... all of them, gone.
Only one line came up......again.
My periods are due today..... and still nothing. I fell bloated, and sick, and PMS-ie.
Maybe it’s just that horrid chocolate cake repeating on me.
Never one to turn down cake, especially one of the chocolate variety, I of course said yes, though wondered why on earth she’d be offering me cake at this time of the morning. It was 9:45, and unlike me, I’d just crawled out of bed.
I thought that it must be a fan-fucking-tastic chocolate cake if she was so willing to share.
H: Do you want some chocolate topping with that?
(hmmm.... why on earth would I want chocolate topping on chocolate cake??)
Me: uummm, no thanks
She hands me the cake, it looks as dry as the Sahara, maybe I should have taken the topping.... or a glass of milk..... or a shot of bourbon.
H: uummm.... I have something to tell you
M: with cake in my mouth, raise an eyebrow and wonder what it is, for a split second I thought she was going to tell me she’s pregnant, but that’s just crazy now isn’t it??
H: M (our cousin) had her baby this morning
M: Oh, that’s nice
H: it’s a boy, 7lb something
M: Oh.....
H: Are you ok?
M: feeling not the slightest bit of anything, not happiness, not anger, not jealousy, zero..... Yeah... I’m ok.
Yesterday I pee’d on a stick, the last one from my swag of 20 that I purchased from ebay 3 cycles ago. Yep.... all of them, gone.
Only one line came up......again.
My periods are due today..... and still nothing. I fell bloated, and sick, and PMS-ie.
Maybe it’s just that horrid chocolate cake repeating on me.
posted by Chan at 3:58 PM
4 Comments:
A spoonful of sugar does not help the medicine go down.
I'm sorry you got sucker punched right out of bed in the morning...even if there was cake.
She could have at least given you good cake when presenting news of that nature! Sorry.
That cake does not sound sufficient for news like that. Tell her to bake another.
Honestly Chan, educate your sister about the healing properties of cheesecake from The Cheesecake Shop. That shit awful news deserved a $20 cheesecake at least:(
Sorry this wasn't your month too:(
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