Thursday, May 11, 2006

Something to lose

I’ve been walking around for the last 6 weeks in denial.

I’m not really “baking”.
There isn’t really a bun in there.

I’ve been afraid to believe.

Tuesday, we had our first ultrasound.
The real fear has kicked in.
Now there’s no denying it.
Now it’s real.
I should be happy, elated and overjoyed.
But I’m more scared than ever.

The fear is now tenfold.
Because now, I have something to lose.



Blogger Kari said...

Your baby looks great! I'm definatley guessing BOY!

12:17 PM  
Blogger Krista said...

The fear is normal but look at you go!

2:34 PM  
Blogger Jenna said...

You baby is looking so good!!! Fear is normal, I am hoping that everything will be awesome and you will have a wonderful uneventful pregnancy.

10:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Honey, you will survive no matter what. Just hang in there. The real fear will come when they are born. So much more can happen them out here then in there. See you soon, hundreds of gentle hugs, Rissa.

11:33 PM  
Blogger Hoping said...

Looks great from far along are you now?


1:45 AM  
Blogger Julie said...

Wishing you a peaceful and healthy pregnancy! Try to push the fear aside (I'm sure that's easier said then done) and enjoy your pregnancy!

4:32 AM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

absolutely beautiful. wishing you only the best here on out.

7:46 AM  
Blogger Lorem ipsum said...

I am terrified for you, because we know what could happen. But I also know that you have everything to gain, because we also know what does happen.


8:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your feelings are perfectly understandable. All the best Jane

12:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Had to log on again just to check bub out. You should try and stay excited and not focus on the fear cause I'm VERY excited for you!!! Congrates again.
Hugs, Rissa.
P.S. Whats with the handicap sign on the word verification thing???!!

12:31 AM  
Blogger Shinny said...

So happy for you, finally someone has some good news!

I so know your fear and wish I could take it away. Always know that we are out here for you and thinking good things for you all.

6:43 AM  
Blogger the ockers said...

what a great looking U/S pic. Congratulations. wishing you very normal, uneventful 2nd and 3rd trimesters.

10:23 AM  
Blogger msfitzita said...

Awwww, and it's a very beautiful little something indeed!

I can't believe life should be so cruel as to take this one from you too. Even though I'm not sure where my prayers go anymore, I'll say one for you and your sweet little baby.

Thinking of you...

11:54 PM  
Anonymous Alexa said...

Many, many congratulations. I understand the fear--I hope a time comes when it leaves you, at least mostly.

11:38 AM  
Blogger Jill said...

I remember the fear like it was yesterday...hell, it was only last week! But you are under the best OB in the city, you and Bub are being scrutinised and everything is being managed to the full extent that it can be.

And to tell the truth, that whole list really doesn't help much when you have been there and done that in the 'shit happens' department.

I just hope that all the goodwill in the world helps enough to keep that dicky cervix SHUT.


2:40 PM  
Blogger InDueTime said...

Hugs! Your in my thoughts and prayers I hope the fear subsides soon, although I know it's hard not to.

2:25 PM  

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