Saturday, April 22, 2006

I work with animals

Dear Co-Worker Dirty Fucking Mole,

Re: Restroom Etiquette

It has been drawn to my attention that you are not following correct company procedure when utilizing the restroom.
Yes, you may be adhering to the request to wash your hands, as shown in the detailed laminated poster on the wall, for which, I’m sure, not only your fellow staff members, but also customers alike, are extremely grateful.
You may THINK you are adhering to the new request posted inside each cubical that requests that you “make sure your toilet paper flushes” (a not so subtle hint to suggest that you make sure your poo has flushed), when it is in fact, obvious that you are not.
If you were truly following the request, you would have noticed that you PISSED ON THE FUCKING SEAT! This is not a case of a drop or two of splashed up “flush”, or an easily miss-able “drip”, but a fucking PUDDLE OF PISS pooled at the BACK of the seat!
I understand your apprehension at placing your arse on the seat, because, technically, it is a “public” restroom due to the 30 odd women who work here ever day, and because your mummy taught you never to put your bottom on a public toilet. But if you INSIST on kangarooing it over the toilet, either
a) put the seat up
b) try to aim a little better
or
c) WIPE YOUR FUCKING PISS OFF THE SEAT WHEN YOU’RE FINISHED, YOU DIRTY.FUCKING.BITCH!

Sincerely,
Me, the one that had to clean up after you, you filthy fucking pig.

8 Comments:

Blogger DD said...

Oh. Gross, just gross.

I suppose putting this in said bathroom may cause more problems than what it's worth?

9:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahhh, brings back memories of the days at BCEC.... Good Times, Good Times...

7:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's just disgusting. Ugh.

5:12 AM  
Blogger Shinny said...

Oh my goodness! I work with one like that as well only we just have 11 of us in our office. I so wish I could hang up what you wrote in our two stall bathroom!
Thank you for writing that and so sorry about having to clean up after the piggy, I get stuck with that job as well many times each day.

1:13 AM  
Anonymous Lola Badeggs said...

Please come to my place of work IMMEDIATELY! There is much to be done here. Last month I found a pee puddle in the corner of the cubicle. I mean, how does that even happen?!

10:41 PM  
Blogger msfitzita said...

Okay, I know it's gross and you were justifiably outraged, but this post made me and My Beloved laugh our assess off.

Thanks for the smile.

Oh, and remind me never to piss you off...

2:37 AM  
Blogger InDueTime said...

Thanks for the laugh, despite your fustrations that was belly-hurting funny. :-) I work in an office with 50-er-so people and one doctor(!!) always pisses on the seat!

12:33 PM  
Blogger MC said...

God some people are so foul. I'm sure that's double nausea inducing.

9:56 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home