Friday, August 05, 2005

Pain begets day

You may remember my dear friend J who was due the same day as I was.......

At 6:10 am this morning (Thursday), little Wyatt made his way into the world weighing 6lb 1oz .

Her sister, D, called me with the news not 2 hours after he was born. I thought that I had prepared myself for this, knowing that the kid had to come out eventually. How wrong I was.

With each word, my heart broke a little more.....
"J's" ......crack
"had" ......crack
"the" ......crack
"it's" ......crack
"a" ......crack

And I cried...... and cried......and cried.
I want to feel joy and happiness, but as selfish as I am, I am wallowing in self pity. I want to be there for my friend, but it just hurts so damn much.

I guess I'll give it a couple of days. I'll wait till all the other kids go back to school and the dust settles a little and then go around and see them.

I know I'll cry, I know it'll hurt , I know that J will understand and cry with me because along with being such a truly wonderful friend....... she wanted our baby just as much as we did.

Welcome to the world little Wyatt.......


Blogger Jill said...

((HUGS)) My oldest friend and I were due together. She will have her bub any day now and my due date is a week and a half away.

You are a strong person to see her so soon after the baby is born. I hope you survive the coming days and weeks as in tact as possible:(

6:14 PM  
Blogger Julie said...

{{{HUGS}}}} I'm sorry sweetie but don't beat yourself up - it's natural for you to feel this way.

11:15 PM  
Blogger Julie said...

You can't help the way you feel, and you have every right to feel overwhelming sadness for yourself and what should have been. Don't be too hard on yourself for it.

11:20 AM  
Blogger Catherine said...

How can such a joy bring such pain to the heart? You're a great friend...and you'll make a fabulous "aunt" in time. Don't push yourself to feel things you think you "should" feel. This is tough enough without the added pressure.

11:15 PM  

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