Sunday, July 17, 2005

The Substitues

Due to the fact that my sister is a wanker and has extremely poor taste in men, my nephew doesn't have much of a father figure in his life.

He hasn't seen his father since Christmas, somewhat because of this nasty "consent order" crap that seems to be taking forever to make it's way through the courts, but mostly because the guy is a utter fuckwit. I won't go into it all, cause no doubt it would bore you to tears, but the guy is a A grade tool who thinks that sitting on the dole and paying $11 a fortnight to support his child gives him the right to call my sister charming names like "dickhead" "stupid mole" and "fat pig" in front of their child and to see his son when ever he wants, for as long as he wants. He didn't think there was a problem with bringing the kid home at 7pm when he was suppose to be home at 4..... he is, after all, HIS son.

So needless to say, being cooped up in the house with only his mother to play with day in day out, the kid craves company. I try to, at least once a day, sit on the steps with him and read a book. I love reading, and in a small way, I hope to pass that love of books onto him, so reading is my "thing" that I do with him. Though I must say if I have to read that damn Wiggles book again I think I'll vomit.

The Chad's area is "boy stuff". Playing soldiers, kicking the footy, all the sort of stuff that a boy would do with his dad.

H doesn't do alot of things with him. She's more than happy to plop him in front of the TV all day to watch dvd's or let him run around in the back yard by himself for hours while she sits on the computer "chatting". He doesn't attend play groups or have play dates, she doesn't take him to the park to play with other kids.

My sister takes the saying "it takes a village to raise a child" to the extreme. She thinks it's our "duty" to play with him, educate and entertain him. Don't get me wrong, I love Caleb to death and I love the time we spend together, but it is her responsibility as a parent to do these things for him, not off load them onto the other "villagers", and at times, we resent being forced to do these things. I hate having to look at the sadness in his eyes when I tell him I don't have the time to read him a story or take him to the park, because I know that if we don't take him, nobody will.

We didn't volunteer for these roles, it's just something that's happened.... some days we don't do it with too much enthusiasm, some days we just don't have the time, but we try. We do it for Caleb.....



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh what a cutie. Your sister has no idea how lucky she is and your nephew is very lucky so have such a wonderful Aunt!

Julie from Tales

7:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are the best!!! Just think of it as training for when your young'ens come along, which they will. Your sis will be the one that misses out in the long run, cause that little man will grow up and go off to live his life. And better still, he will know how to be a better parent after having crappy ones and he will love and remember his aunt and uncle with fondness.

3:49 AM  

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