Saturday, May 07, 2005

Being left behind.....

The Chad came home last night with the news that a friend of his had gotten approval for a home loan and was going to buy a house.

This "friend" aka The Crow (the wanker gave himself this nickname and proudly introduces himself to stranger as thus.....if you are thinking "headcase" then you would be right), is one of those people who, no matter how much shit is thrown their way, it never sticks.....mainly because his parents are forever there wiping it off their golden child.

Many years ago, while being left to look after his baby, who would have been no more than 8-9 months old, this little one "mysteriously" breaks his leg and a couple of ribs. The Crow stands before the judge, denies any wrong doing, sheds a few tears, is given community service, a pissy fine and no conviction recorded. Our justice system at it's finest......

He then goes on to have another 2 healthy children with the same woman. How she could have stayed with him I will never now, let alone have another 2 kids to him.

Just last year, girlfriend ups and leaves...... and leaves all three kids with him!

The Crow gets caught stealing at work, but where others had been fired for less, he was given a warning.

While he is out going to raves, doing "E's" and whooping it up, his parents are looking after the little ones.

When he blows all his money on tattoos, drugs and stupid crap for his hotted up corolla, his parents pay his rego, the electricity bills and fill his cupboards with food.

The owner of the house that he rents offers him a once in a life time opportunity, to buy the house for a price WAY less than the market value. You'd think that after all the crap, karma would finally catch up with him....but nooooooo.... his parents put their house up at collateral and he gets the loan...... he gets the house.

My Dad raised me to be independent. I didn't see it when i was growing up, but am extremely grateful for it now. When I wanted something, he told me to save up for it. When I wanted to go somewhere, he refused to be my taxi service, I'd have to find my own way. This even meant at 15, walking home at midnight from the train station, down a dirt track and through the bush. (Remember, this was nearly 20 years ago.....way back when it was "safe" for a girl to do this.) I had a job at 14, I paid for my own clothes, make up and girlie magazines.

At 15, he insisted that, if I wanted to go out and drink while under the legal age, that I had to have $150 in a "get out of jail" account because he wasn't going to pay the fine. He never approved of me drinking, but said that if I chose to do it, and got caught, then I'd have to deal with the consequences.

While I bucked and screamed and threw many temper tantrums because of his refusal to pander to my every whim, I find myself where I am today, an independent, self reliant woman who knows that my actions are my own and with the tools to get myself out of the shit when needed.

So when it comes to The Crow and many more like him, who is more to blame ? The child who refuses to grow up and take responsibility, or the parents who continue to "baby" their 30 something year old son?

Why when I know we should feel proud because we are responsible adults and pay our own bills, buy our own food and go without when we don't have the money, that it still leaves us feeling jealous when we see people moving ahead, even though it's not under their own steam?

And why when we try to live right and be good people that bad shit keeps happening to us, we can never seem to get ahead.


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