Luck of the Irish
Imagine this.....
A young (ish) couple, deeply in love, coming together after being separated for weeks days..... blah blah blah..... you remember how the rest of the story goes.....
This is where the story gets interesting.
Seeing as the young(ish) couple are physically able to, but not yet mentally ready to start trying again, their choice of contraception is condoms (you can see where this is going can't you)
Upon "dismount" (and I scored a 8.2 if any of you are interested..... I'm no Nadia Comaneci but I give it a crack) the afore mentioned condom is missing. Not broken..... M.I.S.S.I.N.G!! It's not on the penis, it's not on the bed, it's not tangled up in the bed sheets ..... it's GONE!
The Chad has a fish around and proclaims that it's not "there" either.
"It has to be there"
"jump up and down, that might make it come out"
"I don't think that'll make it come out honey
"just TRY would you!"
For a moment I thought it was just his sick and perverted need to see a naked fat chick jumping up and down, until I saw the look of despair on his face.
"Well don't just stand there! get some clothes on! I have to take you to the hospital to get it out."
A couple of deep coughs and a trip to the ER was averted.
Here's where the story gets REALLY interesting.
6 weeks, 4 days ago, I had my hysteroscopy and D & C
4 days later, much to my surprise, I get my period. Here I was thinking that they were going to give the ute a good old clean out, obviously my body wasn't too impressed with the cleaners and proceeded to re-clean to her standards.
Bang on 4 weeks later, my body hasn't missed a beat, the D & C hasn't, as I had feared, messed with my cycle and I get my period.
2 days ago, I have crampy like pains, I'm not sure if this is ovulation or gas.
Today, the missing condom incident.
We tried for 9 months to fall pregnant the first time....... 5 months the second time..... here we are, trying not to fall and what happens....
I'd laugh at the irony of it all if I wasn't so busy crapping my dacks.
A young (ish) couple, deeply in love, coming together after being separated for weeks days..... blah blah blah..... you remember how the rest of the story goes.....
This is where the story gets interesting.
Seeing as the young(ish) couple are physically able to, but not yet mentally ready to start trying again, their choice of contraception is condoms (you can see where this is going can't you)
Upon "dismount" (and I scored a 8.2 if any of you are interested..... I'm no Nadia Comaneci but I give it a crack) the afore mentioned condom is missing. Not broken..... M.I.S.S.I.N.G!! It's not on the penis, it's not on the bed, it's not tangled up in the bed sheets ..... it's GONE!
The Chad has a fish around and proclaims that it's not "there" either.
"It has to be there"
"jump up and down, that might make it come out"
"I don't think that'll make it come out honey
"just TRY would you!"
For a moment I thought it was just his sick and perverted need to see a naked fat chick jumping up and down, until I saw the look of despair on his face.
"Well don't just stand there! get some clothes on! I have to take you to the hospital to get it out."
A couple of deep coughs and a trip to the ER was averted.
Here's where the story gets REALLY interesting.
6 weeks, 4 days ago, I had my hysteroscopy and D & C
4 days later, much to my surprise, I get my period. Here I was thinking that they were going to give the ute a good old clean out, obviously my body wasn't too impressed with the cleaners and proceeded to re-clean to her standards.
Bang on 4 weeks later, my body hasn't missed a beat, the D & C hasn't, as I had feared, messed with my cycle and I get my period.
2 days ago, I have crampy like pains, I'm not sure if this is ovulation or gas.
Today, the missing condom incident.
We tried for 9 months to fall pregnant the first time....... 5 months the second time..... here we are, trying not to fall and what happens....
I'd laugh at the irony of it all if I wasn't so busy crapping my dacks.
posted by Chan at 2:34 PM
1 Comments:
That would just be too funny!
Post a Comment
<< Home